"I'm Fine": The Hidden Signs of Anxiety and Depression in Men — And Why More Men in Ridgewood, Wyckoff, and Waldwick Are Finally Asking for Help

If you asked most of the men working construction sites in Waldwick, coaching Little League in Wyckoff, or commuting into the city from a split-level in Ridgewood how they're doing, you'd probably get the same two-word answer: "I'm fine." It's practically a reflex. But underneath that reflex, a quiet and often unspoken struggle is playing out in a lot of homes across western Bergen County — and it rarely looks like what people expect anxiety or depression to look like.

Here at Waypoint Psychological Services in Waldwick, NJ, we sit at an interesting crossroads. Our town is a working, middle class community wedged between some of the wealthiest zip codes in New Jersey — Ridgewood, Wyckoff, and Allendale. Men here come from every kind of background: contractors, teachers, first responders, small business owners, finance professionals, and everyone in between. What we consistently see, regardless of income or job title, is that men are taught early and often that emotional struggle is something to manage privately, not something to bring into a therapist's office. That message costs people more than most realize.

Why Anxiety and Depression Look Different in Men

Textbook descriptions of depression — persistent sadness, crying, withdrawal — don't always match what actually shows up for men. Clinically, we call this "masked" or "externalized" depression, and it tends to present as:

• Irritability and a short fuse. Snapping at your kids over something small, or feeling constantly on edge at work, can be a depressive symptom just as much as sadness is.
• Physical complaints with no clear cause. Chronic headaches, tight chest, stomach issues, or unexplained fatigue are often the body's way of expressing what the mind hasn't found words for yet.
• Overworking. Throwing yourself into your job, home renovation projects, or your kids' sports schedule can look like ambition, but it's sometimes a way of outrunning feelings that are too uncomfortable to sit with.
• Escalating substance use. An extra drink or two after work becomes a nightly habit — a slow, self-medicating slide that's easy to rationalize.
• Risk-taking or anger. Reckless driving, aggressive conflict, or a general sense of "I don't care what happens" can be a red flag, not just a personality trait.
• Emotional numbness. Feeling disconnected from your spouse, your kids, or things you used to enjoy — going through the motions rather than actually being present.

Anxiety, meanwhile, often gets rebranded as "being a planner," "being intense," or "just how I am." Racing thoughts at 3 a.m. about money, job security, or your kids' future; a stomach that's in knots before every conversation with your boss; the need to control every variable because uncertainty feels unbearable — these are anxiety symptoms wearing a work shirt instead of a diagnosis.

Why It's Harder for Men to Ask for Help

A lot of this comes down to how boys are raised. Many men grew up hearing some version of "man up," "walk it off," or "don't cry." By adulthood, that training runs deep — asking for therapy for anxiety or therapy for depression can feel like admitting weakness, even to men who would never judge a friend for doing the same thing.

In a community like ours, there's an added layer. Men who grew up blue-collar sometimes carry the belief that mental health care is a luxury for people with more time or money — something that happens in wealthier towns, not in Waldwick. Meanwhile, men commuting home to Ridgewood or Wyckoff from high-pressure jobs often feel the opposite pressure: that with so much external success, they have no right to be struggling internally. Both stories keep men stuck, and both are wrong. Anxiety and depression don't check your zip code or your paycheck before showing up.

What Actually Helps

The good news is that anxiety and depression in men respond very well to treatment — often faster than people expect, especially once someone is finally in the right room with the right therapist. A few things that tend to make the biggest difference:

1. Naming it early. The irritability, the exhaustion, the extra drinks, the numbness — these aren't character flaws. They're signals. The earlier they're identified, the easier they are to treat.

2. Structured, practical approaches. Many men respond well to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) because it's direct, skills-based, and goal-oriented — less about "talking about feelings" in the abstract and more about identifying patterns and building concrete tools to interrupt them.

3. A therapist who gets it. Fit matters. Men are far more likely to stay in therapy and see real change when they feel understood rather than judged — when the therapist meets them where they are instead of expecting them to already have the emotional vocabulary of a psychology textbook.

4. Consistency. Weekly, in-person therapy tends to build momentum faster than sporadic check-ins. There's real value in a regular, protected hour that's just yours.

Introducing Gerson Jimenez, LAC — Now Accepting New Clients at Waypoint

We're excited to share that Waypoint Psychological Services has welcomed a new clinician to our team: Gerson Jimenez, LAC, a Licensed Associate Counselor who brings both clinical skill and lived understanding to his work with clients.

Gerson works with adolescents and adults age 12 and up, and he has a particular gift for connecting with men who are new to therapy or hesitant about it — creating a space that feels straightforward, respectful, and free of judgment. He's fully available and currently building his caseload, which means new clients can typically get in quickly, without the long waitlists that are common at many practices in the area.

Just as importantly, Gerson is fluent in Spanish — a first for our practice. For the many Spanish-speaking families and individuals in Waldwick, Midland Park, Hawthorne, Paramus, and the surrounding Bergen County towns who have wanted to work with a therapist in their first language, this is a meaningful and overdue addition to our team. Therapy is deeply personal work, and being able to process it in the language you think and feel in can make all the difference.

Local, In-Person Care That Fits Your Life

Waypoint Psychological Services is located at 71 Franklin Turnpike in Waldwick, NJ — an easy, central drive for anyone searching for a therapist near Ridgewood, Wyckoff, or Paramus. We prioritize in-person sessions because we believe there's real value in showing up, sitting down, and being fully present with your therapist, though hybrid scheduling is available for clients who need flexibility.

We also want cost to be one less barrier standing between you and getting help. Waypoint accepts employer-funded Aetna and Blue Cross Blue Shield NJ, and our team can help you understand your benefits before your first session so there are no surprises.

Take the First Step

You don't have to keep white-knuckling it through irritability, sleepless nights, or the quiet exhaustion of holding it all together. Whether you're dealing with work stress, family pressure, or anxiety and depression that's been building for years, reaching out is not a sign of weakness — it's the first practical step toward feeling like yourself again.

Ready to get started? Call or text us at (201) 427-0720, or request an appointment online and ask to book with Gerson Jimenez, LAC. Se habla español — new clients, including Spanish-speaking clients and teens 12 and up, are welcome and can typically be scheduled quickly.